The Gaynalysis is just one gay NASCAR Fan’s take on the race weekend. You can read the “straight” recap of the Sprint Cup Race from Dover by clicking here. You can read the “straight” recap of the Camping World Truck Series race by clicking here.
"Gay NASCAR" by Keith J. Varadi - 2009
While there was not much drama in the actual race on Sunday the weekend was full of fantastic. The cars had hardly been unloaded off the haulers when the dramatics began.
Someone pissed in Clint Bowyer’s Cheerios……..and by someone I mean NASCAR. After handing down a massive 150 point fine, Bowyer fell from 2nd to 12th in the Chase standings. He came into the Media Center at Dover and angrily defended himself, his crew chief and his race team. He dismissed any thought that RCR cheated.
Then Driver Diva Denny Hamlin marched into the Media Center and stoked the flames. Denny basically said RCR had been cheating the entire season and that their claim that a tow truck knocked the car out of tolerance was re-donk-a-donk.
JGR Team owner Joe Gibbs counseled Denny to shut the F up and focus on the race. I am paraphrasing.
Later that afternoon they were all out on track for practice and RCR driver diva Kevin Harvick decided to show his displeasure with Denny and bumped and swiped his car. There was damage to both cars. They both pulled into the garage and got all up in each others faces – ready for sissy slapping!
NASCAR officials broke the two up……. Was the drama done…….. NOT YET!
NASCAR reporter and Twitterati, Jeff Gluck, tried to ask Harvick a question and the ESPN cameras caught an angry Harvick snapping at the redheaded reporter. On a side note – you gotta give the traveling NASCAR media some credit for sticking their necks out there when these Divas are ready to go all Naomi Campbell on them.
Sadly – that was pretty much it. The race on Sunday was kinda boring. There was some good passing back in the pack but mostly there were stretched out long green flag segments. The “Monster” bit no one. Jimmie Johnson started and finished up front. Anyone that counted the #48 out of the Chase after Loudon spoke too soon.
While the Cup and Nationwide drivers divas were in Dover the Camping World Truck Series was in my home town of Las Vegas. Friday night I got to watch Jennifer Jo Cobb, Jeffrey Earnhardt and Chris Lafferty jump off the 108th floor of the Stratosphere.
Jennifer Jo Cobb is such a badass. She indeed is a true diva – but since that is what I call all the guys I need to come up with some other adjective for her. For now, until I think of something better, I will call her Super-Diva. (The Fast and The Fabulous was already taken)
credit Michael Myers / Queers4Gears.com
The truck race was far from boring. The trucks seem to be more competitive across the entire field. There was some great side-by-side racing and passing all over the track. Austin Dillon dominated the race, starting on the pole and winning his 2nd race in this his rookie season.
Mike Skinner’s night was ruined when he was spun by Ron Hornaday – this is not their first dance. These guys now have a 4 week break before the next race… hopefully Mike can calm down. Otherwise I think Ron may get some payback.
I can’t finish this Gaynalysis without talking about the Grand Marshall for the Truck Race – Holly Madison. Earning her fame by being hot and banging an old man – Holly showed up at LVMS in a hot pink fire suit. She did look good but her pink suit was not nearly as gay as the one worn by Kyle Busch.
Be sure to check out all of the pics from Q4G’s live coverage of the truck race.