Queers4Gears.com

NASCAR and MotorSports – From a Queer Perspective

Gaynalysis: Kansas: Cautions? Yeah, cautions!

"Gay NASCAR" by Keith J. Varadi - 2009

 

After the all the non-drama of four of the first five Chase races, who wouldn’t be looking forward to the excitement of another 400 mile race at yet another 1.5 mile race track? Just kidding, I fully expected Kansas was going to be yet another snoozefest, boy was I wrong!

Kasey Kahne started on the pole alongside Mark Martin, but given that there was no new shirtless picture of Kasey to come out this week, we all knew he wouldn’t win. Note to Kasey: shirtless pictures = wins. Got it?

Matt Kenseth, who started 12th and hit the wall on lap 173, scored his third win of the year. Kenseth hit the wall while avoiding Aric Almirola, who has great teeth started near the front of the field and lead the race early on before hitting the wall twice during the day. The second hit would take Almirola out of the race with a 29th place finish.

Jimmie Johnson wrecked on lap 137. Jimmie had lost a lap earlier in the race after an untimely caution sent him from leading the race to the tail end of the field. While trying to race his way back to the front, he spun out and backed his car into the wall, which would effectively end anyone else’s day.  Unbelievably, crew chief Chad Knaus was able to fix Jimmie’s mangled car on pit road without losing a lap and he would salvage a 9th place finish for the day.

The race on the newly repaved Kansas track produced 14 cautions for 66 laps. Two of those were brought out by Kyle Busch. Busch spun out by himself on lap 41 but was then taken out for good on lap after Ryan Newman poked him in the rear sending the 18 hard into the wall and wrecking himself in the process. Kyle wasn’t happy. Shocker. “I’m glad he’s wrecked along with me, and he’ll get another here before the year is out”, said Busch, who apparently has forgotten about his retaliation against Ron Hornaday at the end of last season. Tsk tsk!!! Busch finished in 31st position.

Danica Patrick and Landon Cassill got together on lap 155 after racing hard together. Replays showed Cassill had gotten into the side of Danica a lap or two earlier and then Danica bumped Landon from behind causing both to spin out. Cassill recovered after the spin, but Patrick spun into the wall ending her day. “Well, rule number one in stock car racing is learn how to wreck someone without wrecking yourself”, said Cassill on the radio after the incident.

Martin Truex Jr. finished the race in 2nd place followed by Paul Menard and pole sitter Kasey Kahne, who could’ve won if… well, you know. Tony Stewart, who also spun during the race, finished in 5th followed by Clint Bowyer in 6th. Regan Smith, driving for the injured Dale Earnhardt Jr. started 39th and finished in 7th.

Points leader, Brad Keselowski , who started pretty deep in the field in 25th position, finished in 8th place holding on to his points lead. Brad leads Jimmie Johnson by 7 points as we head to teeny-tiny Martinsville this weekend.

Follow @aclovelace on Twitter

Category: gay, NASCAR