The Gaynalysis is just one gay NASCAR fan’s take on the race weekend – you can read the “straight” recap of the Aaron’s 499 from Talladega by clicking here.

Tupac returned to Cochella and The Pack returned to Talladega!

Gimmie pack racing you cried… and NASCAR listened – maybe too well for some the drivers taste…. but the two-dogs fu**in’ tandems were a thing of the past.

Brad Keselowski took the win by reinvinting a new way to win a restictor plate race – tossing the sling shot out the window.  The new line he ran in the final turn broke Kyle Busch off his bumper preventing the #18 from making a move to pass.  Brad never would have had the chance without a huge push from the Ass – or as Brad calls him…. Kyle Busch.

While most the race ran green – the show didn’t wrap without a few huge wrecks.  Fuel issues put Harvick on the apron as he limped back towards pit road when Armirola also ran the #43 dry…. but Harvick had the apron full. As Armirola tried to come back up on the track to avoid the #29 he caused a huge pile up on the banks.  Jeff Gordon took the biggest hit – adding to the Lohan-sized pile of bad luck the #24 is experienceing this season.

Kurt Busch was a hit all weekend with his Ricky Bobby themed paint scheme, fire suit and scanner chatter – but with 9 laps to go the #51 was spun through the front strech.  Instead of following the rules and taking it around the track – or waiting on a tow…. Kurt Busch drove the wrong way up pit road.  He should have been parked….. and I said the same thing when Carl did it in Atlanta… of course Carl had already been parked at that point.

Denny Hamlin and the #11 team introduced some new C-post destruction technology that Chad Knaus is very interested in learning more about.  The #11 car peppered the track with debris extending the final caution laps leading to a Green/White/Checkered Rainbow finish.

This week’s Q4G shout-out goes to Kasey Kahne.  Heyyyyyyy Kasey – you sure did some fancy wheel work to avoid the several messes in Alabama. As a special prize, you win dinner and a hot tub party with me. (dinner optional)

There was some danica drama in the Nationwide Race – on the last lap Sam Hornish Jr. was failing to steer his car with a deflating tire when he drifted up the track and blocked Danica near the start-finish line.  Feeling wronged, after the checkers, Patrick bumped Hornish – who was already having steering issues and went flying into the turn 1 wall.

Danica should NOT be suspended or fined…. she should get a nice talking too’ – but she hasn’t shown herself to be a dirty driver…. let’s see what her payback resume looks in a few seasons.

My bigger problem is with Danica’s entitled attitude – she was clearly pissed that no one would work with her in a break-out tandem.  She seemed so surprised drivers weren’t lining up on her rear end.  Sorry Rookie…. gotta earn a few more notches in your restrictor plate bed post before people will work with you like that.

All in all, I loved the race…. I will take big packs over two dogs f**ing on every given Sunday!

Lastly,  I was soo glad to read that Eric McClure will make a full rev