The Gaynalysis is just one gay NASCAR fan’s take on the race weekend. You can read the “straight” recap of the race from Texas by clicking here.
"Gay NASCAR" by Keith J. Varadi - 2009
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nahhhh, nah, nah, nah, Gettin BIFFEY wid’ it!
Greg Biffle secured his place atop the NASCAR point standings by winning in Texas on Saturday night.
I am not sure what to say about this race…. sure, the knee-jerk reaction of most fans is that the race was boring. Sometimes your knee is right! When #Wind and #Trash trend higher than the action on the track…. it tells you something.
At least the lights worked. During the Nationwide race on Friday – failing lights in turn #3 brought out multiple cautions and the red flag. As the Sprint Cup race ran for 234 laps without a caution – I for one was begging for an EMP or Texas sized mothra to take out some lighting….. to steal a joke from Bill Maher – when Ambien needs to sleep it watches that Texas race.
It didn’t start well, the Anthem by Kelley Hansen wasn’t the best I have ever heard, but to be fair – he is a Foreigner. As the race unfolded – the excitement didn’t build: The only real contact made on track was between debris and the car’s grills.
When Marcos Ambrose get debris on his grill does he call out on the radio that he has debris on the barbie? Just wonderin’.
Pit road wasn’t kind to many. Kevin Harvick snapped at his crew for missing a lug nut, Kyle Busch screamed really loud when he dropped a car on his hose, and Kasey Kahne seemed at odds when he was trapped in the box – he couldn’t wait to get out of the box.
Brad Keselowski had fuel pump issues sending the Blue Deuce behind the wall twice. I guess there isn’t an app for that.
Rick Hendrick’s 200th win is proving to be a bigger tease than everyone I dated in high school. For the latter part of the race, Jimmie Johnson dominated the field – he was hoping to get his 1st win since Kansas last fall. But with 30 laps to go The Biff passed Jimmie Johnson and didn’t look back.
This week’s Q4G shout-out goes to Marcos Ambrose! HEYYYYYY MARCOS! or should I say……. “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Boy Boy Boy!” His 20th place finish does not represent how well he ran all day. Ambrose kept it in the Top-10 for most of the day but ran out of fuel on the last lap.
Before I close this week’s Gaynalysis….. I have to thank all of my generous friends and readers. As anyone who follows me on Twitter knows – this weekend I will be walking in the Vegas AIDS walk and I have been begging for donations from all of my readers. We raised $2,100.00!!!! This amount will be matched by Penn & Teller – so that means $4,200.00 will be given to AFAN (Aid for AIDS of Nevada) in Queers4Gears name. Everyone’s generosity means so much to me – thanks from the bottom of my gay heart!