The gaynalysis is just one gay NASCAR fan’s take on the race weekend. You can read the straight recap of the race from Talladega by clicking here.

This week’s Gaynalysis is dedicated to Dan Wheldon and Marco Simoncelli.

NASCAR had plans to break up the two car tandems this weekend but for the most part it didn’t work.  The two car tandems still dominated the show but I think the lower pressure relief valve did create a “back pack.”

This “back pack” allowed cars to race in an old style pack and keep within view of the pairings that broke away.  Lots of these guys were points racing and riding around in the back trying to avoid the big ones.

That’s not racing – but it is the reality of a points Championship…. for Hot Carl, this rear riding philosophy made sense…. but I don’t think it made much sense for the 48.

Jimmie came into the race 35 points out of 1st but his pussy-footing around in the back ensured he left Talladega 50 points off the pace…. there will be no six-time… JJ is done.  Chad and Jimmie needed to bring it on Sunday and they didn’t.

There are some in the media who have said that the domination of the vanilla Johnson led to the stagnation and decline in ratings…. wonder who they’ll blame next year?

I have to admit a little guilt on this issue myself: I wanted anyone but Jimmie to win but now that he’s out… I realize I still want him in the hunt.  I want the best Chase possible. In my opinion there are only 4 divas with a chance to win at this point. (Harvick is 25 points out… so I will add him as a 5th maybe…but only because we are heading to Martinsville)

The big drama came from who paired up with whom – and more importantly, who left “whom” in the dust.  Trevor Bayne dropped Jeff Gordon like Tony Stewart’s dead weight.

There were team orders?   Drivers chose  teammates to pair up with? Why I’m shocked to hear there is gambling in this establishment!

Let’s review:  Trevor Bayne lots his drafting partner after he rammed Robby Gordon in the rear once a little too often and ripped that pink thing apart!  Jeff Gordon lost his partner after Mark Martin got involved in a late race caution with Little Orphan Annie Denny.

Over the radio the #24 and the baby faced butted Bayne decided to work together.  As the green flag fell someone on Trevor’s radio let him know that fellow Ford driver Matt Kenseth needed a partner and Trevor and Gordon got an annulment.

After the race Gordon said, “He (Trevor) feels terrible about it. Listen, at that point you work with anybody that you can when you lose your partner then you’re desperate to find somebody. I was going to go with the No. 13 but Trevor lined up behind me and when he agreed to it and I said hey, we can’t go with a better person than that. He’s got a fast race car; we already have history of working well together and I thought it was a no-brainer. But I probably should have known better.  I think everybody knew coming into the weekend, the Fords made it very clear about what they were doing in working with one another and helping one another out and all those things. So I didn’t expect him to commit to me on the radio. I expected him to say, ‘Man, I’m sorry; I can’t.’ And when he said, ‘Yeah, I’m pushing you; we’re good’; I believed him. But I think they had a different plan.”

Bayne took to Twitter, “I’m not happy about what this has become… It’s too premeditated. We should be able to go with whoever is around”  After Wood Brothers, Roush and Ford officials were quick to say there were no team orders, Bayne tweeted (and since deleted),”I would have rather pulled over and finished last than tell (Jeff)  I would work with him and then be strong-armed into bailing.”

Team orders have always been here….. so have incestuious pairings at plate races… this is nothing new.  Is it racing? NOPE – but it is points racing and it’s plate racing.  If the big bomb goes off – the only thing left on Earth will be cock-roaches and 2 fans complaining about plate racing…. one who hates the pack and one who hates tandems.

The one thing that really did tick-off my inner race fan was seeing the drivers divas go slowly on pit road on purpose.  They were letting other drivers pass them in the pits so they could line up with their dance partner.  After weeks of hearing about every hundreth of a second counting to the point where people’s jobs depended on it….. we find out…. not so much.

I understand the old adage, “you have to finish to finish first,” so some of the rear riding points racing is to be expected – but seeing car after car slow on pit road just didn’t “look right.”

Instead of a Q4G’s shout-out this week….. we are going to give out a few hugs.  Kurt Busch and Kevin Harvick….. you poor thangs. Kurt and Kevin bought losing numbers in the Alabama lottery.